Why men have extramarital affairs?
Talk about a loaded matter that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, affairs have been going on from ancient times. Extramarital affairs can be fraught with problems, cause despair, and other problems. Also you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty matter, money, age dissimilarity, religious background, remorse, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I will define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, married women for dating.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek an extramarital affair. I think mainly though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody are able to switch the longing on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos culture has erected against affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but society also. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your spouse or anyone else? You will need to lessen the risk you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest group, huge truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to look after. Your savings are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair sometimes solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sadly this is a frequent reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the husband is sexually neglecting his woman for a number of reasons. As a male I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be compassion is not here, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have just developed separately, our common interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.